There are still a few things you’re not supposed to talk about at work: politics, religion, and why someone keeps microwaving fish at 11:58 a.m. every single day. But somewhere in that unspoken list lives a bigger taboo—the one that sends HR departments into cold sweats and keeps coworkers politely vague: how much we make. In an era obsessed with transparency and workplace empowerment, pay secrecy has become the last frontier of discomfort. And yet, the urge to share—or at least to know—is stronger than ever.
For many women and marginalized workers, salary talk isn’t about bragging rights; it’s about survival strategies. Pay inequality often hides in the shadows, and silence only makes the shadows longer. The moment someone says, “Wait, you make WHAT?” a hidden ecosystem of inequity reveals itself. Suddenly, the taboo looks less like etiquette and more like a tactic—one that can quietly keep certain groups at the bottom rung while making them feel guilty for asking why.
Still, salary conversations can get messy fast. One person’s disclosure can land like a liberation anthem; another’s can land like a grenade. A coworker may hear your number and cheer, because it proves their industry pays fairly. Or they may hear it and spiral into a 2 a.m. Google search of “Should I quit my job immediately??” Transparency is empowering, but it’s also destabilizing—especially in an office culture where emotions are supposed to be as neatly contained as the succulent on your desk.
There’s also the question of trust. Telling someone your salary is a little like handing them your diary and hoping they don’t share the juiciest page with the entire department. Some coworkers have the discretion of a locked vault; others have the discretion of a group chat with 19 participants. Being selective isn’t hypocrisy—it’s self-preservation. You’re not obligated to disclose your salary to anyone who casually asks while chatting in the break room.
But here’s the twist: legally, in many places, you can discuss your pay. Employers aren’t allowed to punish you for comparing salaries, even if they’d prefer you keep quiet. The law understands something many workplaces still avoid acknowledging—pay transparency is one of the strongest tools for combating wage discrimination. It cools the temperature of guesswork and often forces employers to justify decisions they’d rather leave unexamined.
Of course, legality doesn’t guarantee comfort. Telling a coworker your salary can mean taking on the emotional labor of watching how they react. Will they feel validated? Undervalued? Competitive? Jealous? You may find yourself suddenly responsible for soothing someone into believing they’re still good at their job. This is why many women, socialized to smooth over awkwardness, hesitate. The conversation becomes less about facts and more about feelings.
A healthier alternative is learning to talk about pay without turning it into a confessional. Instead of trading raw numbers, many professionals compare ranges, promotion jumps, negotiation strategies, and benefits packages. You can protect your privacy while still participating in the collective push toward transparency. Think of it as sharing your map without handing over your coordinates.
Ultimately, the question isn’t “Is it okay?” but “Why am I sharing this, and with whom?” If your goal is empowerment, solidarity, or negotiation clarity, salary talk can be a radical act of workplace care. If your goal is to impress, compete, or quietly stir the pot… maybe save that energy for something else. Transparency works best when it’s generous, not performative.
The new office taboo may not stay taboo much longer. As younger workers demand honesty from their employers—and from each other—the culture will shift. In the meantime, treat salary transparency like any other vulnerable conversation: choose safe people, communicate with intention, and remember that information is power. Share it wisely, but don’t fear it. The silence was never protecting you anyway.