In a world growing more conscious of gender identity and expression, language is evolving to meet the needs of diverse communities. Pronouns are more than just grammatical placeholders—they reflect how someone wishes to be seen, acknowledged, and respected. While “he” and “she” may be familiar, a host of alternative pronouns have emerged to better represent people across the gender spectrum. Despite your political affliations or personal beliefs regarding alternative pronouns, one's professional and social life may suffer if they lack the ability to be considered polite. This article introduces some of the most commonly used gender-neutral and nonbinary pronouns, including lesser-known ones like “zir.” Each entry includes a brief explanation of usage and the gender identities often associated with it.
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They/Them
Perhaps the most recognized gender-neutral pronoun, "they/them" is widely used by nonbinary individuals—people who do not identify strictly as male or female. Though some may struggle with using "they" for a singular person, it has historical precedent in English. For example, “Jordan left their bag on the table. They’ll be back soon.” Using "they" affirms a person's identity without forcing them into a binary category.
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Ze/Hir
Pronounced “zee” and “heer,” this set of pronouns offers an alternative to both he/him and she/her. It’s typically used by people who reject the traditional gender binary. In a sentence: “Alex took hir coat off because ze was warm.” These pronouns emerged from LGBTQ+ communities in the 1990s and gained traction among those seeking a pronoun system not rooted in existing binaries. -
Xe/Xem
Pronounced “zee/zem,” this set is another gender-neutral alternative. It’s often favored for its futuristic sound and complete departure from “he” or “she.” For example: “Casey brought xem sketchbook, and xe shared it with the group.” Like many neopronouns, xe/xem is used by people who wish to create linguistic space for identities that aren’t constrained by mainstream labels. -
Ey/Em
Derived from the word “they,” this minimalist pronoun set removes the “th” sound for a cleaner, simpler form. It’s used like this: “Morgan helped emself to some coffee because ey was tired.” This set is part of the “Spivak pronouns,” created in the 1980s by mathematician Michael Spivak as a gender-neutral alternative for academic writing, and later adopted by some in the queer community.
Indiana Humanities, Out in Indy- Dragging Indianapolis LGBTQ history out of the Closet 00, CC BY 2.0
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Zir/Zir
Pronounced “zeer,” this set is similar to ze/hir and is often used interchangeably with it, though some distinguish the two. In usage: “Taylor lent zir book to a friend, and zir friend returned it the next day.” People who use zir may identify as nonbinary, genderqueer, or simply prefer a pronoun that feels more personalized. The spelling variation helps people feel their pronoun isn’t just neutral—but uniquely theirs. -
He/Him
This traditional pronoun set is typically used by individuals who identify as male. That includes cisgender men as well as trans men—those who were assigned female at birth but identify and live as male. For example: “Darren picked up his dog from the vet, and he was relieved to hear she was fine.” It’s important to remember that not all people who appear masculine use he/him, so asking pronouns is always the best practice.
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She/Her
Commonly used by those who identify as female, she/her pronouns are used by cisgender women as well as many trans women. In a sentence: “Maria baked a cake for her friends, and she decorated it herself.” Like all pronouns, these should not be assumed based on clothing, voice, or presentation. A person’s identity isn’t always visible. -
He/They or She/They
Some individuals use a combination of pronouns to reflect a more nuanced or fluid identity. A person might say, “I use he/they,” meaning either pronoun is acceptable. For example: “Sam said he would join us later. They’re usually on time.” This dual usage acknowledges a connection to traditional gender while also embracing a nonbinary or expansive element.
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He/They or She/They
Some individuals use a combination of pronouns to reflect a more nuanced or fluid identity. A person might say, “I use he/they,” meaning either pronoun is acceptable. For example: “Sam said he would join us later. They’re usually on time.” This dual usage acknowledges a connection to traditional gender while also embracing a nonbinary or expansive element. -
No Pronouns (Name Only)
Some individuals prefer not to use pronouns at all and instead go by their name in all instances. This might sound repetitive at first but becomes natural with practice. For example: “Sky brought Sky’s laptop so Sky could show us Sky’s design.” This choice is often made by those who want to completely deconstruct gendered assumptions in language. -
It/Its
Though often considered dehumanizing when used without consent, some people reclaim "it/its" as an affirming pronoun. For example: “Rowan enjoys gardening; it spends a lot of its free time with plants.” Use of it/its is usually intentional and deeply personal, so it's best to only use these pronouns if someone clearly expresses this preference.